Strong, black & woman, but I still need self care

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.”

-Dodinsky

As a therapist, I am always reinforcing the necessity of SELF CARE. Even for myself. Trying to not make it sound like a redundant cliche. It truly is such a vital part of leading a healthy life.

What is Self Care?

Self care is essentially putting forth the effort to pour back into yourself. It can be anything that promotes your physical, mental and emotional well being.

Why Self Care is Important?

Self care should make you happy. Evidence shows the more you do things that help maintain the Serotonin in your brain (the endorphin that promotes happiness) the more you decrease your chances of developing Depression. Self care helps relieve stress, refresh your energy levels, encourages more self awareness, enhances self esteem, boosts your productivity. I can go on and on.

I often meet many black women who constantly put themselves on the back burner. Especially black mothers who almost always disclose feelings of selfishness when asked about doing things for themselves, outside of their children and daily responsibilities. The strong black woman. I identify with her. We exude strength, resiliency. We are survivors. However, we still have to take care of ourselves. By not doing so, we put ourselves at risk emotionally, mentally and physically. How can you be there for others if you cannot be there for yourself?

My Self Care

My self care involves a great amount of "me time" and usually happens randomly or when I start feeling drained. Family is something I value and hold close. Therefore, I travel home a lot to spend time with my loved ones. I am creative and love DIY projects. I get massages every few months, go for walks 2-3x during the week, catch a new movie and sometimes sit on my couch, binge watch Netflix and eat ice cream.

Okay, so the ice cream I wouldn't recommend-judge me-I just started seeing a Nutritionist. SN: ya'll...UTILIZE YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE. You pay for it. I see a Nutritionist FOR FREE and also see a therapist FREE! Full coverage. More recently, I have started taking a pottery class. I LOVE IT. Starting this blog was apart of my self care. I also love traveling. My goal each year is to travel somewhere (preferably outside of the country) that I've never been. So far, so good.

Self Care Ideas: Where to start

Because self care is vast and relative to the person, there are so many things people can do. It can be as simple as taking a walk each day for 15 minutes after work or taking a vacation twice a year. Whatever you decide, just make sure it is intentional. Try to plan it and eventually it will become a part of your routine. As long as it is for you and makes you happy-that's what counts. Some of the most practical and easy ideas can include... -Getting Sunlight each day (your skin absorbs UV rays which promote Vitamin-D and serotonin production)

-Talking to someone that you love and trust

-Journaling (I always encourage people to write their prayers, ideas or just good things that are happening for the week or in their day)

-Traveling (you can travel to your nearest park, attraction site or even the beach)

-Making sure you engage in healthy sleep hygiene habits (when you are sleep deprived it affects your overall health in many ways, I use the Relax Melodies App to help me with falling asleep) -Saying "No" and saying it unapologetically (set healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life, ex: stop checking emails at a certain time, turn down activities that would make you feel uncomfortable-in a bad way)

-Taking on a new project (learning to craft, take a new class, learn a new language)

-Learn a new coping skill (mindfulness, grounding, HeadSpace is a great app to use for mindfulness)