Single on Valentines Day

This is the first year I have been single on Valentines Day in a few years and honestly-it feels good! I am embracing my singleness and using it as time to reflect, continue to build and grow. I encourage all single women to do the same. I do desire marriage and I also want children but I believe in divine purpose and timing. I also realize that my quality of life is not determined by societal standards or the dreams other people have for my life.

Embracing your Singleness

Here's a list of things that you may find helpful during your time as a single woman.

• Have a starting line-up. It's called dating for a reason! There is nothing wrong with going out on dates, having text buddies, getting to know different guys, what you like, don't like, will or won't tolerate. And no, it doesn't take dating to realize these things BUT there's many things to be learned from interactions through the dating process. I am working on this myself:)

• Try online dating platforms. This is not for everyone. Safety comes first. Only utilize dating apps you feel you can trust and/or dating apps that you feel meet your needs. Try to filter out the "creeps"-not always possible. But, if someone gives you a funny feeling, trust your gut. Meet up for dates in public places and be aware of your surroundings. I can go on and on with safety precautions-maybe that will be another blog post too.

• Praise yourself. Maybe you left a relationship that no longer met your needs. Maybe you broke it off with someone who was abusive, or toxic. Whatever it was, there is a reason why it ended no matter who or what ended it. Focus on that and be gentle with yourself. If something is meant to be in your life-it will be. I hope you find peace.

• Learn more about yourself. Discover more about you. Maybe start a new hobby, take a class, go on a road trip. Take a personality test, discover your interests, do some inner critiquing. What makes you angry? What really makes you happy? What's your love language? What is on your list for must haves in a mate? Can you compromise with any of those things? If you notice a roadblock in your life, take a look at your relationships-from birth until now. Notice any patterns? By asking yourself these questions it forces introspection. It allows you to discover new things about yourself that maybe you did not know OR find out more about why you have made certain choices in life.

• Makes some personal changes. If you do see patterns-focus on changing or breaking those "norms." Seek professional help, talk to someone you trust, maybe cut some people off-whatever works for you. Create or or change something in your budget, work on saving. Are you fulfilling your personal goals? Are you where you want to be spiritually? Exercise, complete a fast, change your hair, re-decorate. Switch things up a bit. Spend time improving your whole self. Sometimes people enter relationships broken and dependent on their significant other for happiness. Happiness should come from within . The happier you are as a single woman, the easier it is to share that happiness with your significant other.

• Log off of social media when you need to. Sometimes it's good to take a break from the "social highlights" of everyone else's life. I always say, people rarely post their failures, losses or difficult times. Especially in relationships-which is no ones business anyway. There's so much pressure when it comes to women, their bodies, marriage and children. Social media can make it worse when you see your colleagues, peers, old friends etc. giving off the perception that their lives are perfect. One thing I do know, everyone posting-isn't happy 100 % of the time. That's not realistic. Every relationship on social media has its' rough patches and all aren't healthy either. Don't compare your life to someone else's because you don't know what the person you're comparing yourself to-is truly going through.

Single on Valentines Day

There are plenty of things to do for yourself or with others on Valentines Day-if you can. Here are a few.

• Go on a date with a friend/good girl friends. I remember one year, me and one of my close friends did our nails and went out to dinner for Valentines Day. We ended up having a good night. Sometimes that's all it takes.

• Look up singles events in your town. Most places have an event list that you can google..."Singles events in ..." or check Facebook Events if you utilize it. There are events catered to singles that focus on mingling. Those can be fun-I'm thinking about participating in one this year!

• Treat yourself to something special. Pamper yourself. Make an appointment to get a manicure/pedicure or get a massage, buy yourself a gift.

• Spend time with people you love. If you have family in the area you live-plan to do something with them. Maybe dinner, a craft night or wine and design with a parent, cousin or again, with a friend.

• Volunteer. Volunteering is always a good way to give back and refresh your perspective. Maybe spend some time at a local shelter or nursing home playing games or doing something crafty with the residents. Or create Valentines Day gift bags or treats to drop off. You can fill them with candy, cards, treats etc.

• Do nothing. Who says you have to participate. Treat Valentines Day like any other day and do not feel obligated to do anything.

Whatever the choice, just make sure you are happy.I hope this post encourages you to remain positive, seize the moment and gain some clarity during this season in your life.